Archive - The Haines Report

Corrections On The Apocalypse

It's still bad. Maybe even worse.

Feb 5 •

Luke Haines. No, not that one.

November 2024

We Might As Well Talk About It.

Nov 14, 2024 •

Luke Haines. No, not that one.

July 2024

Assassin Nation.

America hates violence...

Jul 19, 2024 •

Luke Haines. No, not that one.

May 2024

It's finally happened.

May 23, 2024 •

Luke Haines. No, not that one.

April 2024

The Eternal Sunshine of Rishi Sunak

I think I've come to understand the PM.

Apr 24, 2024 •

Luke Haines. No, not that one.

January 2024

The King's Head

The internet is awash with clickbait articles reminding us of the passage of time; the year 1999 is now 25 years ago, for example, and if you’re the…

Jan 18, 2024 •

Luke Haines. No, not that one.

December 2023

The philosopher Bertrand Russell was once accosted after a lecture on astronomy by a crazy woman, who informed him that the real truth of the Earth’s…

Dec 14, 2023 •

Luke Haines. No, not that one.

November 2023

The Reichstag Climate Fire.

People are often asked which fictional charcters they identify with, and whilst I never have a definitive answer, I have to say that in terms of my…

Nov 1, 2023 •

Luke Haines. No, not that one.

October 2023

Utter Nonsense.

Beekeeper? I hardly know 'er!

Oct 15, 2023 •

Luke Haines. No, not that one.

September 2023

Or: Shrieking Gelato.

Sep 29, 2023 •

Luke Haines. No, not that one.

June 2023

All Crunches Great And Small

Implosively speaking, past proves future.

Jun 23, 2023 •

Luke Haines. No, not that one.

May 2023

If there’s one thing that proves how racist British society is, it’s the desperate, panicked responses by old white people whenever you point out…

May 9, 2023 •

Luke Haines. No, not that one.

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